It was summer, 1996. The appointment was for 5PM, Friday. For the next 22 years, I called it my last audition...ever.
A major casting director was seeking an actress for a sitcom, a 'sexy-girl schtick.' As instructed, I donned a skin-tight mini-dress and fluffed my curly, black mane. My cleavage dripped sweat. A runaway hair stuck to my lip gloss.
Even Fountain was jammed with rush-hour traffic. I knew the obnoxious sign that would greet me above the studio parking lot: "Actors: Don't Even THINK About Parking Here!" So, I parked on a faraway street.
Hobbling across Paramount's threshold, my 4" stilettos stuck into the sizzling, syrupy asphalt. I opened the audition room door. A collective inner moan was palpable: here comes another replica hoping to book the part. On the benches: girl after girl, my clones. I signed in. The queue was at least an hour long. (Union rules mandated a maximum one-hour wait time).
"Has anyone read yet?" I asked. The nervous, long-eyelashed starlets shook their heads. "What?!" I fumed loudly. (I had to be 'punched in' at Trattoria Farfalla by 6:00PM). I paced angrily. I simply had to know what on God's earth this well-known casting director (who had called in too many actresses in the first place for 5 lines on a scorching Friday during rush hour with no parking provided) was doing. I approached her office. A line of big, round eyes, like camera lenses on the red carpet, followed my every move. Then, like a producer with a checkbook, I made the bold move. As I put my ear to the door, you could hear a pin drop.
Inside, the casting director and her assistant were giggling, chatting, yawning, making weekend plans and crunching loud snacks. I turned towards my knockoffs, scanned their wide, hopeful orbs, opened my mouth, but found myself uncharacteristically speechless. I left in a fury.
Limping back down Melrose, a car pulled up to me. A sleazy dude yelled, "Hey babe, how much for 15 minutes?" My cheeks flushed. Tears came to my eyes. All the years of Hollywood frustration were directed at this unsuspecting John. I yelled and kicked his door, "I am a highly trained actor! I have a damned Ivy League degree! Go fuck YOURSELF!" An hour later, I called my agent and quit. I put all three unions on hiatus. I "never" looked back.
My New Life
One month after quitting, I was working at a public relations firm. A year later, I opened my own firm and ran a PR radio show. It was fun, fast-paced, lucrative. I bought a house. Had a baby. Had another baby. Bought a bigger house. Made investments. Life was grand. My kids grew up to be scholar-athletes representing the USA in Water Polo and travelling the world. One is currently a junior at UCLA. One is currently a freshman at Stanford. I sold the business in 2012. I did not miss my actor side for one second, until...
One Weird Day in September 2018
Something weird happened. I literally woke up one morning with an emptiness. A realization that I missed 'my people.' I missed: studying lines and rehearsing; going to acting class; creating characters and backstories; being in front of the camera and on stage; auditioning; doing live improv comedy; cabaret singing; working with agents/managers; creating and being around other creatives. Why this came on suddenly, I will never know. What happened next was beyond my imagination.
Like Riding A Bicycle
First, I hired an accompanist and started singing at small gatherings. My friend Jerome Cleary, a publicist/comedian, started pushing me. "You should get back into the business. You are wasting talent and all those years of training and Improv. Call Marcie." Marcie Smolin our mutual friend, is an extraordinary actress/comedienne/acting teacher and runs The Actors Circle in Culver City. When I called, she simply said, "Come to class."
When they say it's like riding a bicycle, they are right. After a couple of classes she prodded, "Get your old footage, make a reel, take some headshots and put yourself on the casting sites." I protested, "But my reel is 22 years old! But I'm not ready..." "Shut up," she said.
Over Chinese, she explained how the business works now. Everything had changed. I did my homework. I followed her counsel. I put my package together. I dusted off old boxes of VHS and Beta reels and digitized. I took new headshots.
Self Tapes & Live Auditions
My initial goal was to just get footage that showcases my talent and looks like me now. I watched every YouTube tutorial. I set up my in-home studio. I joined actor casting sites. I went on as many in-person auditions as I could. I learned iMovie and FilmicPro. I said 'yes' to almost everything. I submitted on anything I thought I was remotely right for. I began booking projects right away. It was a lot of work, but it was fun.
Getting Footage & Booking
Once I got past the shock of seeing myself aged on film, I found that the roles I am right for now are much more fun than playing the cute, sexy ingenue. Also, there are simply more roles for women and more content in general, therefore, more opportunities. Also, when I was young, I was always told I was too ethnic, too exotic. Now, I'm considered diverse! I can also "pull off" a wide age range. I can doll myself up or look dreadful.
When people ask me how I was able to amass 30 projects in less than two years I tell them about…
- The massive pile of rejections; all the parts I did NOT get.
- Saying "yes" before saying "no." Don't reject yourself. Don't say, "I'm not right for that role." Or pre-judge: "It's a piece of crap." I was not yet at the stage where I could pick and choose. I needed footage. A seemingly worthless project can still wield a gem of footage. A great project may never get you any.
- How there is no secret. Work hard on each audition and job. I work tirelessly until I can deliver a convincing performance to myself in my sleep. Before big auditions or jobs, I call director friends or my acting coach and ask them to critique me.
Market Yourself & Be Professional
In order to be marketable, you have to have something to talk about: new reels; upcoming projects; headshots; and characters are sellable. I stay on top of directors to get footage. I try to always have an upcoming project. I create characters and take still-shots in wigs and post them. This opens up casting opportunities. I got IMDBpro. I do constant updates there and on casting sites. I created a website and a FaceBook public figure profile. I made my Instagram all about my work. I joined FaceBook support groups.
I continue to work with my acting coach, accent coach and vocal coach. I support colleagues' work too and network with others. I see it as my job to elevate the material, be easy to work with and professional. The point is, I'm always thinking 'what can I do to improve my business?'
Always set goals. My current goal is to get the right representation and to book jobs that pay better and are on major content outlets. I am fortunate to be able to reinstate my union status anytime. I am starting to be choosier about the roles I go up for. I'm also reconnecting with former contacts. I didn't want to approach them earlier and say, "Guess what, I'm back in the business," until I had something to show for it. When I was a young actor, my self-worth was on the line. Now, I know my worth, so my confidence is not caught up in what I do (or do not) book. The biggest question I ask myself is, "Am I having fun?" If the answer is, "Yes," then I forge ahead.
The Pay-Off
The greatest compliments I received were from my kids. My younger son said, "Mom, I never knew who you really were all those years. Now I see the real you. It's so awesome to see you so happy." And my older son said, "Mom I am so proud of how you are killing it. I guess we should call you 'Hollywood's Comeback Mom.' "
"Hollywood" - Google News
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Hollywoods Comeback Mom - Patch.com
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